box office capsule
Hi Guest !
5 Worst (read Pathetic) REVIEWS OF 2011
View Image in Large Size
Friday 30th December 8:00 PM IST
Ra.One is SRK’s most expensive mid-life crisis
If the title of the review is nothing but personal comment on an actor (who happened to entertain us for last 20 years), I think most of the “foolish” readers (sorry that is what most of the critics think about audience, come on!) know this critic really needs medical help. It is not the worst form of criticism but third class (cannot use the word
here because these intellectual do not like cheap stuff, can’t you guys get it!) showcase of writing and plain ignorance. Critic does not like the music (it had “Chammak Challo” , “Dildaara” and few more good numbers) and he liked the special effects (OMG , VFX of “Ra.One” were better than anything this guy has seen in India, oh he missed “Robot” because bosses did not pay for the tickets).
After reading his review, you may feel that this guy will quit the job (if at all “abusing” films is a job) but I am sure he will be back after all “Burayee sang jo mail rachaya, kabhi na chhoote uska saya”-
once a critic always a critic
There is no harm in bashing a movie on its merit but who the hell gives you right to be personal against an artist? Grow up and take a moral science class!
Audience Rating: 1/5
Should you see Dhobi Ghat, then? Yes, if only to get away from the washing machine
He is one of the oldest members of the species (read critics). He tried his hands on film making after writing it for ages but was not as easy for him as he thought in the first place. He made awful films like “Fiza” (remember first flop of Hrithik after blockbuster debut) and “Silsilay” but do not know why he stopped making it (because one wonders he never stopped writing the reviews which are equally awful).
“Dhobi Ghaat” was a prime example of changing face of Indian cinema but
did not like it for same strange reasons and he found it only better than washing machine.
Come on Sir, we know you have washing machine so don’t flaunt it since we are not in 80’s anymore as your reviews suggest!
Audience Rating: 0.7/5
Watch Desi Boys for performances
A film as bad (bad is under statement) as “Desi Boyz” gets 3.5/5 rating from him and he praises it by saying that Technical aspects are of a high standard, technical means girls in short dresses, shooting in foreign locales and heroes coming straight to sets after gym. And he really crosses the bar of being unintentionally funny with his next compliment that performances are good.
Akshay Kumar was half decent but John, Deepika and even good actress Chitrangada can be seen hamming throughout the film. Readers were confused after reading the review and they really misunderstood such a technically excellent film with striking performances.
This guy writes horrible reviews only “once” in a week and justifies those reviews twice in a week by providing economics of those movies (we already know that almost every movie is profitable these days and so are the critics).
My favorite one from the review - Satish Kaushik is very good and Suparna Marwah is nice as the judge
(please watch the torturous movie and let me know your thoughts about these gem of the performances)
Audience Rating: 0.5/10
Initially adorable but gets a bit annoying after a while as the entire universe seems to revolve around him
Beyond any doubt, the best film of the year and our beloved breed of critics was quite kind towards it (not because they love cinema but anything low budget with a poor kid or girl giving hand job or five junkie friends running while some remix of oldie is playing in background is considered “intellectual”).
But Kunal was unimpressed because “Stanley Ka Dabba” was revolving too much around a kid (oh, he was looking for “Sheila Ki Jawani”) and Amole Gupte’s name was mentioned more than 10 times (this guy was counting that, see he loves detailing).
If a movie as good as this can be given 2.5/5,
this critic should go and buy some decent quality of milk because drinking is not only injurious to health but it affects mental stability too
Audience Rating: 0.3/5
So thank you, Ms Balan
(If your dress weren't as low-cut, I'd ask you to take a bow)
He is the most consistent critic around and has an “exceptional” IQ (
you can read” everything except IQ”, his style of English
) If a review ends with the line mention above, you must be knowing what kind of humor this critic has and where he is going after writing it or what was he doing while watching it (sorry, my language is not half good as Mr. Critic’s).
If you are watching a movie for the first time in your entire life but you are serious admirer of any kind of art, you are bound to overlook “assets” and mesmerized by Vidya’s performance. But our guy failed to watch anything but what he really wanted to see (I think you got it).
He praises Vidya’s performance like “paanshop guy” in my native place who praises Tendular’s back to back hundreds at Sharjah or Dhoni’s innings in WC Final and will never forget to mention lack of the techniques from masters as he mastered the game in the womb of his mother.
One more gem from our beloved critic –“any schoolboy would attest, pretty much anything can be forgiven if the breasts look good enough”, got it! The school boy inside him was almost out there in the darkness of theater because schoolboys I know these days are grown up watching “Dil Chahta Hai” and “Inception” and they know well enough what is art and what is porn.
Then our “school boy” gave “Dhobhi Ghaat” 2.5 stars six months back but placed it among top 10 films of 2011 couple of days back,
only intellectual alive on the earth – an endangered species for sure,
so save him kill films
Audience Rating: 0.1/5
Finding from the ratings
The business of Blockbusters in Bollywood these days is inversely proportional to the rating by critics (mind you, these films do humongous business in metros and up market multiplexes where so called elite class watches his cinema) and the length of the reviews is inversely proportional to the intellect of the critic.
If you are as big admirer of these critics as I am, you are welcome to rate them for every review on following link:
Post your comments on this article:
Trade Experts Deliver More Blockbuster Than All 3 Khans Combined
JOKER Fans Of TIGER Stars
Saif Gets His First Solo Hit
JOKER Is Slapped By DON- Most Funny Tweets On Incidence
5 Worst (read Pathetic) REVIEWS OF 2011
BEST OF “WORST” for Damadamm!
Sign Up here for My ADDA
Full Name :
Confirm Password :
Sign In to My ADDA
New User : Sign Up Now